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[17 May 2007|07:28am] |
I'm back and ready to play some frisbee.
"My friends, my habits, my family,
they mean so much to me,
I just don't think that it's right
I've seen so many ships sailing,
just headed back out again,
and go on sinking"
-Modest Mouse
Why am I so afraid of suffering? Why can I not be the rebel?
I know that I'm just ordinary; yet, I wish to suffer for man. I can see that I'm extraordinary; but, I'm afraid of the demand.
So many musings...who can understand?
Another Modest Mouse quote (people should listen to their "Good News for People who Love Bad News" album again):
"Now the blow's been softened,
since we are our own damn coffin,
Well, everybody's talkin' 'bout their short list,
Everybody's talkin' 'bout death"
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[13 Apr 2007|02:27am] |
"He did not know that the new life would not be given him for nothing, that he would have to pay dearly for it, that it would cost him great striving, great suffering.
But that is the beginning of a new story--the story of the gradual renewal of a man, the story of his gradual regeneration, of his passing from one world into another, of his inition into a new unkown life."
--Crime and Punishment
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| Food for Thought |
[21 Mar 2007|07:01am] |
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The various mindsets that the world’s communites have passed through are merely an expression of the other. Modes of thought must systematically alternate between subjectifying and objectifying the subscribers. The subjectifying is a product of a community in a homogenous state; meaning that civilizations with a more homogenous populations will be much more effective and timely at developing a subjectifying citizen-view. Objectification, however, occurs when the community is forced to, or attempts to incorporate a new other. Since the subjectified citizen enjoys a self-centered mindset, it will be unable to accept this. It is for this reason that a new type of mindset is formed that revolves around the objectification of the citizen. We can see this with the transition from Greek to Roman power in the Mediterranean. The Greek city-state of Athens was an extremely subjectified community with private citizens commanding a large amount of influence in governmental affairs for the time (i.e. the birth of democracy). This was due to an extremely homogeneous population that all identified under a common “language” and basic “greek identity.” The Roman Empire initially started in such a condition—it had a system of citizen-based participation in the government. However, as Rome expanded, a problem occurred of granting the citizen-like rights to those newly incorporated into the empire (as these rights were the basic cause for Rome’s popularity—people desired to be under roman protection and influence). For this reason Rome was forced to adopt a more dictatorial government as a requisite for existence as an imperial power. This government had to effectively destroy the subject-citizens for the expansion of the Roman identity. This can be further demonstrated by the example of Xerxes of Persia. Though the countries unified under this man were vastly different in culture, he was able to control them because of an extreme objectification of the citizenship (a method accomplished by making himself the only subject in the kingdom.)
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| come on tim...poetry's dumb |
[16 Mar 2007|01:38am] |
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Faith to Dollar, Then the awakening, Visions of judgment, Fracturing and pasting anew. Look down, From the very top. We destroyed the problem, As it became too much. Here we lie, On the Chasm’s dirty floor, And I wonder, “who will see My sandcastle?” To me—so real and pristine, tangible enough to save, When brought before the other— Just a shadow in the cave.
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[07 Mar 2007|01:49am] |
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We are always looking, us—the creatures so stoked to seek. Up, but not down, left but not right we cast our vision on the sought. But what we have sought, my friends, can only become more than a match for the will of man that turns away from his brothers. The raw material of potential, of essence, becomes compressed into a tube of seeking. Woman becomes man, now becomes then, and all around the world we trade us and us for them and them. We cannot see past our own noses; we look at the big picture, and so we think; we see the macro, the large, elephants my friends, not mice. And yet, in our microscopic view on the large, we miss the grand. How many more bites can we take out of the picture? How long before the mockery of our creation becomes the hymn to our doom? Consume. The worry that slavery would end pressed my greatly. I feared to lose the manipulation of others’ work. I feared it. With life so easy I feared to lose it. But I can create. This has been established in the great tube of seeking—Men bow to my way and to my will. Slavery shall not end! I will it. And it was so. It was so because I willed it, because of nothing but that. Fate bows, Heaven bows, Earth bows, and now, you who hath enslaved them all—I enslave you. Fulfill my desires as I chop up this slavery and garnish it anew. I must fool the suitors of peace; weave the shroud of the world over the eyes of the starving man. Let not the eyes of the world realize that what it was then, and what it is now, is what it should never be.
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[10 Feb 2007|03:50pm] |
It's quite a burden to be relieved of, when that last hierarchy is thrown off.
That hierarchy of what my life should be.
Quite an awekening when I realize that I could never live what my life should be.
I was running circles in the garden, but now it's time to climb the steps.
Who knows where they lead?
Wherever I want to make them go I suppose.
Free will is most enjoyable; I wish more people experienced it.
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| Amazing the power of psychology these days... |
[07 Feb 2007|01:12pm] |
"INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.
Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists.
INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to most anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.
A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition. In this way INTPs are markedly different from INTJs, who are much more confident in their competence and willing to act on their convictions.
Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages, computer systems--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought. This fascination for logical wholes and their inner workings is often expressed in a detachment from the environment, a concentration where time is forgotten and extraneous stimuli are held at bay. Accomplishing a task or goal with this knowledge is secondary.
INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.
Games NTs seem to especially enjoy include Risk, Bridge, Stratego, Chess, Go, and word games of all sorts."
Seems like they know me pretty well.
Try it yourselves: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
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[29 Jan 2007|12:35am] |
I have recently come up with a new life-goal, and I can honestly say that once you go teleological, you don't go back.
I'm currently pursuing the idea of relieving the most net suffering possible in my lifetime.
This give me plenty of motivation to get everything done that needs to be done, and waste little time with anything else.
I've begun to hate the concepts of fun and enjoyment. They are wastes. Movies, music, interaction, television...it's merely sucking up my working units.
I'm pretty alone.
And yet I'm not scared.
Because I can now just take as many steps toward my goal as I want, and know that I'm heading in the right direction. There's no more side-stepping or running in circles.
With the way I'm eating and exercising i'll probably live well past 100.
80 years is a long time to spend alone.
But why should i devote the working units to a relationship?
This is a waste of time.
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[24 Jan 2007|01:52pm] |
Casual Sex
Many people agree that the best part of any relationship is sex. One could further condlude that any time spent in a relationship is time wasted. This is predicated upon several facts, the foremost of which being the lack of intellectual/useful topics expressed in any relationship setting. When coupled with the hypothetical productivity of having spent said time without gf/bf in any action of a progressive nature, it is evident that the time used is doubly wasted--owing to any possible insight or knowledge gained from an alternative action.
Another benefit is the increase in potential mates that one receives when casting off monogomy. To employ the logic from the earlier paragraph--one could spend the time required of a relationship instead having sex with other partners. This variety could be the proverbial spice of your life.
Some might say that intellectual topics are actually discussed in relationships. To counter this point, I would like to employ socionics. Any person, of any personality type, finds their best match in their exact opposite. This means that any person with an intuitive 'N' type will be attracted toward those with a sensing 'S' type. Due to the insolubility of thought processes in these two opposite types, any topics discussed in the best theoretical relationships would be of little value to the other on the basis of lack of subjective comprehension and practicality.
Of course, one might argue that relationships are a good progression towards marriage. This is very true, and should be noted for anyone intending to take a stab at marriage later in life. However, the chances of finding that perfect match (again, based on socionics) are very slim to none. If in spite of this, you still desire to explore whether you have found "the one" it would be wise to learn something of socionics. Giving a relationship a trial run would be of great benefit--a week should give someone enough time to decide if their potential mate is practical for them, any other time spent being a rather large waste of time.
Another objection, of which there seem to be many ("love" is a very popular concept), is the idea that one can explore and find out things about oneself through a relationship, and also the pleasure gained from it. My first suggestion would be meditation--something in which it seems many more conclusions could be made in the name of self-discovery. To counter the idea of pleasure gained from a relationship a question must be asked--"why not simply have sex with the person in the relationship, spend time with them for self-discovery, and also have sex with other people?" I realize that sex has a very deep meaning for a very large percentage of the population, but I very much believe that this is much more of a social construct created by religion and morality than it is an innate reality.
Here is a situation:
You have a great relationship with someone and you like having sex with them too. I can accept that. Why not have sex with other people during this time? Is there any reason outside of fear of STD's and pregnancy, for which there are extensive methods of contraception? You can always decide to stop having sex others if you feel that you're found your mate and don't want to share.
I don't know man. Sounds pretty ridiculous.
I am quite aware on finishing this that I did not address every point that I intended and so would appreciate criticism in return to remember and reform a more comprehensive argument.
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| Please read this. |
[07 Jan 2007|04:23pm] |
A few things I'm concerned about/afraid of happening:
Most corporations and colleges in the United States have enough money to buy a nuclear warhead.
Corporations now have private armies.
China's growing economy coupled with America's unwillingness to be challenged (plus our thousands of nukes, 7 aircraft carriers, and one stupid president.)
North Korea (who's in range of the DPRK's missles? The west coast!)
America's falling credibility (not that I care about America; but, America's going to have to remind everyone that it's still on top, and that's what scares me.)
The entity in charge of recycling America's nuclear warheads from the cold war is a private corporation. Probably owned by Haliburton. "Here are some nukes Mr. Cheney."
Israel going apeshit and nuking every single one of their bordering countries because they think that Iran has nuclear weapons.
Decepticons
America not caring about global warming because money is more important.
China not caring about global warming because America doesn't care about global warming.
Australia not caring about global warming because they do what they want.
The destruction of all aquatic life (should happen by 2050.)
We still live in an Orwellian state and more cover-ups are happening about the Iraq war and the "War on Terror" than about Vietnam. (Deaths due to terrorist attacks are actually double what was reported by the state department.)
Marijuana isn't legal and we're wasting millions of dollars fighting it when we could be making billions on a tax. (Can we say goodbye debt?)
The dollar is dropping like a rock and, since it's the international currency, this means that the world economy is going to get pretty f-ed up before the euro takes the dollars place.
We're more obsessed with our militar industrial complex than a narcissist is with his/her own body.
Things I'm not concerned about, and you probably shouldn't be either:
Iran. They're doing much more to stabilize the middle east than the US is and spending a lot less on it too. Their leader is a completely rational actor (moreso than Bush) and he actually cares about people in his country...and, here's the shocker, outside his country. That's fucked up.
TERRORISM!!! Terrorism isn't a big deal at all. 625 people died from terrorist attacks last year. 625. Do you know how many people die every year from automobile accidents in the United States? over 50,000. Almost a hundred times as many. Do you know how many people have died in Darfur? around 300,000 (very conservative estimate). This makes NO SENSE. Do you know how many people will be displaced if the polar ice caps melt? Hundreds of MILLIONS. And yet the Bush Administration is obsessed with pouring BILLIONS of dollars into the war on Terror and even tapping our phonecalls (remember the Orwellian State thing?). If we were actually this motivated about any of the other problems listed, they could be virtually wiped out. But no, we're obsessed with the war on terror. And you want to know the best part?
Terrorism has become much worse since the war on terror started!
China. In twenty years, don't listen to America when it tells you that they're the enemy.
I think I'm done for now.
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[05 Jan 2007|03:30am] |
Little Miss Sunshine is one of the best movies I've ever seen.
If anyone would like to watch it again with me, please let me know.
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[31 Dec 2006|03:58pm] |
I don't know what made me think this town would be better in any way.
I think I'm going to go back early and stay with some friends on the east coast.
And I really don't give a fuck about Gerald Ford.
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[27 Dec 2006|12:41am] |
There's just something about LO.
I just sit around being bored.
Yet when I think about getting up to do something I think, "Is that really worth doing?" And I don't do it.
I wish I were back in Mexico.
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[25 Dec 2006|01:49am] |
I'm back in Oregon after today (from Mexico).
So you can call me.
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[16 Dec 2006|12:29am] |
I'm back.
5038077703
I will not be able to return your call though because my screen is broken and I can't see my call list.
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[11 Dec 2006|03:10pm] |
http://playlist.yahoo.com/makeplaylist.dll?id=1529799&sdm=web&qtw=480&qth=300
Looks like the coolest movie ever created.
I'm so excited.
I'm going to work out in the theater.
Too bad I have to wait till March. I hate it when they release the previews so long before the movie.
They always do it with Spiderman. The third one isn't coming out till like July and they're already showing the preview.
So excited to go home.
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[11 Dec 2006|02:16am] |
I'm so homesick it's unbelievable.
Two days of finals and two papers and I'm out of here.
I'm having to convince myself not to become a philosopher.
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[24 Nov 2006|05:37am] |
They say that your smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.
I would argue that listening to music is much more potent.
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[07 Nov 2006|02:07am] |
The people I want to hang out with are intimidated by me.
I get excited for drugs.
And I get excited for school.
People just wear me out.
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[24 Oct 2006|02:05am] |
I've totally gained the Freshman 15 and yet I don't show it at all.
Good and bad I suppose.
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